True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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