I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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