Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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