I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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