First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
