We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
