Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
