Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
