Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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