I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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