girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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