my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
