Midget sex pt 2 tonight
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think people are normalizing furries
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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