I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
