I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
