just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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