i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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