i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
