I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
