Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
