no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
