New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize