Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
