Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
