K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
