In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
