Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
