Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
