she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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