I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize