she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
