if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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