five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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