Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich

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(231): View more from Michigan

my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring

(989): View more from Michigan

i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me

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(402): View more from Nebraska

consequently i now know what mace tastes like

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

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(519): View more from Ontario

He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?

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(425): View more from Washington

Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"

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(613): View more from Ontario

He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'

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