1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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