Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
