nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
