you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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