What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
