Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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