you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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