I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
