Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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