dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Boobs speak an international language.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
