She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
