my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize