I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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