You're my little dorito
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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