So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
