Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
