You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
