just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
