We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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