She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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