i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
