We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
