from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize