did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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