She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
