Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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