just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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