what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
