That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
