Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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