oh god the rape fog is back!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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