He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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