I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
