It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize